If both partners in a relationship feel that their needs are being met, that relationship is likely to be a lasting one. We all have needs. if they aren’t being met in a relationship, the unfortunate inclination is to look elsewhere.
It should be obvious, but one of the first things to do to tell your partner what you would like. You can’t read minds, and you shouldn’t expert your partner to be able to read minds either. He or she wants to make sure your relationships needs are met, so tell them what they are.
At the same time, encourage your partner to tell you the needs he or she feels are important. You might be surprised to learn who different your partners needs and desires are from what you think.
You might feel the need for you partner to tell you he loves you often, so you assume that’s what he wants as well. It’s fine to do that but it may not be a real need that he has. He may prefer you to show your love by considerate little acts. Some people like to be told, and some people prefer loving action.
Communication is key to making any long term relationship work. Discussing your needs is a good place to start. If you both know what each of you want, it’s easier for you to keep each other happy. If a couple isn’t used to having this kind of discussion it may seem a little uncomfortable at first. Honest discussion is always a good idea and one of the best ways to strengthen a relationship. Plus, it’ll make it more likely you’ll each get what you need.
Passive aggressive behavior unfortunately happens too often in relationships. Unfortunately, this almost always makes the situation worse. If he does take your hint, it’s only after you’ve acted put upon, angry and resentful. So his doing the dishes might be only to keep you from acting that way.
If you ask for something stating clearly that getting it makes you feel loved and appreciated, you’re more likely to get it than you would be if you complained or tried to guilt-trip your partner into giving it to you.
Also keep in mind that each of us is responsible for our own well-being and happiness. This is yet another reason why it important to develop the ability to communicate honestly with each other.
All relationships have rough spots from time to time. You can get through the hard times more easily if you take advantage of other people’s experience.
Your friends may or may not be relationship experts but it will hard for them to be objective because of they’re close to you.
Fortunately, there are many sources of good information available today.
One site I like a lot is The Relationship Fix.
That site covers just about every aspect of relationships, but focuses on providing information to help get you through tough times (after all, most of us can handle the good times without any help.
For example, you can find advice on How to Fix a Long Term Relationship. Another page (Second Chance Romance Review) reviews a program that teaches ways to get a relationship back on track.
Just remember that all relationships are growth processes. Some growing pains are to be expected. The reward of making it work is worth the commitment.
Tags: couples communication, get needs met, relationship needs, Relationships
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