Posts Tagged ‘marriage therapy’

How to stop the fighting

Friday, August 28th, 2009

One of the best things we get to experience in our lives is relationships.From the wonderful experiences of family relationships to love relationships it is great.But a few times good relationships can turn bad.  What was once a source of joy and excitement can become hard and painful.

I have seen this first hand helping people in couples counseling San Diego. What was once a promising relationship becomes antagonistic.What once looked so beautiful and promising now has a very grim outlook.  What happened and what can be done to change it?

That is a huge question and one that will be difficult to answer.Most relationships that have problems are going to be different.  But my experience as a marriage counselor San Diego has shown me there are methods you can use to bring out good solutions.

One of the benefits that can help them is by providing a safe place.  A lot of times trying to deal with their struggles at home just doesn’t work.By proving a safe environment for them they are able to feel comfortable and safe which allows them work things out easier.

One more thing that will help the couple is by being another ear to listen to them.  But not just an ear but an impartial ear.An ear that is able to hear the issues and talk about them impartially.Accomplishing that can work miracles.That extra person can tackle the issues head on seperate from the heated perspective.  When a couple tries to do it in the heat of battle it just doesn’t work.

Another thing to learn that can help the couple greatly is teaching them the benefits of listening to each other.  In my practice doing marriage counseling San Diego, I help them develop these skills.These skills are beneficial in helping them listen to one another rather than always attempting to be the winner in an argument.

By doing this, they are able to really address the issues. Doing these few things in a rocky relationship can work wonders.I have seen it in action countless times as a marriage counselor.

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Learn when it is time for Marriage Counseling

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

In a perfect world, the couple would live happily ever after when they say “I do”. Unfortunately, a perfect world we do not live in. And usually, when the wedding day is done, trouble starts to happen.

Whatever the cause, the couple’s happy and blissful relationship all of a sudden turns cold and bitter.

In this article, I am going to draw on my experience as a family counselor San Diego to help a couple decide, when is it time for a couple to seek marriage counseling.

Arguments, disagreements, and fights do happen.It is going to happen in a lot of marriages.But there is a time when the couple needs to look at whether or not this is normal or part of everyday life.Or if what is going on is not normal and time to seek help.

Because left unchecked, problems in marriages can lead to ugly divorces.

So for couples seeking to keep their marriage, here are some key signs to look for and decide if marriage counseling San Diego is needed.

The first sign is there constant bickering?  Do little things cause you guys to argue? Although small and subtle this could be the beginning of something bigger.

Second, do you find you don’t have anything nice to say about each other? This is an indicator that there is contempt for each other that you are holding and that is not profitable.

A third thing is do you find that your level of respect for each other is not there?In all relationships, there must be a level of respect.

Fourth sign, do you see that intimacy is lost between the two of you?  This is not just for sex, although this is part of it.Does is seem like the two of you aren’t as close as you once were?

Fifth, are you happier when your spouse is not around?This sign is not good and the beginning of a break up.

Sixth, is there a loss of trust between one another? One of the most important things for a married couple is trust.When your most intimate moments are going to be lived and shared with, there has to be trust.

Finallly, has one of you been unfaithful?To most it seems simple enough and obvious.Sometimes when this does occur, unfortunately some couples choose to ignore it rather than try to deal with the issues.

Of course there a lot of other signs to look for.  But these are some big ones when deciding if it is time to seek a marriage counselor in San Diego. 

If these are some of the things you are experiencing, and to find a way to save your marriage is your goal.  You need to seek professional help to try and work out these problems.

A lot of times, a third viewpoint is very helpful for the situation, and this is why a family counselor can help.

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When to Turn to Marriage Therapy

Tuesday, July 21st, 2009

Marriage has been described as a sacred union.As it should be.After all, when the couple say “I do” they are both agreeing that they will spend the rest of their lives together till death do them part.  Even through bad times, like sickness and poorer.

Notice I left out the health and richer part.Because those times are usually the easiest often times.

But whatever the situation, if you are having marriage troubles, keeping the marriage healthy and happy does become a struggle.  It is during this time a family therapist San Diego might be the best option.

Because once problems start to become chronic, this could lead to a road that ends in divorce.  Problems such as fighting, not trusting, no intimacy, despising each other, etc.

When these things do start happening, the most important thing the couple should do is seek a marriage counselor.  why?  Because although a couple may not feel like it is, most marriage therapists have seen it all.And from that experience is what they use to help those marriages in trouble.

So why does it help to have marriage therapy or couples therapy?  Well I would like to share some insights from my experience as a San Diego marriage therapist.

Several factors beginning with safety.A good therapist is able to offer to the couple an environment they can feel safe in.  An environment that is not the norm where all the fights happen.

This stops the angry or hysterical outburst that happens when they are in a familiar environment.

Second, as we told you earlier, this is not something new to them.This presents an opportunity for the therapist to share with the couple his experience of whether what they are going through is normal.

Third, they help in communications.Often that is usually one of the big reasons for a troubled marriage.When troubles start to happen, the husband and wife will become defensive and communications at that point becomes difficult.  The therapist can help open those lines.

Fourth, they will be helpful to the couples in regards to problem solving skills.Obviously, there are issues.  And the more equipped the couple is, the better they will be able to solve their issues.

Finally, they can help the couple to understand the situation.They accomplish this by helping them listen better, share their feelings better, and then help them interpret it all.

As you can see, when the marriage is in trouble, the best way to save it is through therapy.  If you find yourself in this type of situation, go seek help.  Take it from my experience doing marriage counseling San Diego.

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