No matter how slick or sneaky your boyfriend thinks he is, seeing someone else without arousing suspicion is a game that is doomed to fail.
At some point, he will either tire of the charade, or he will be caught. And if you’re here, reading this, chances are you already have your suspicions.
He gets defensive needlessly
Nothing spells guilt like uncharacteristic caginess.
Unprovoked guilty behavior is not necessarily a guarantee that your boyfriend is going to dump you, but it is nevertheless a sign something needs to come out into the light.
He pays more attention than usual to his look/hygiene
If looking his best has suddenly, and inexplicably become a priority, there’s going to be a reason why.
While this might not have anything to do with cultivating a new flame, if he is cagey about where he is going, and the details don’t quite make sense
(if he is starting a new job, for instance, it will make perfect sense for him to go the extra mile), it should arouse suspicion. This is yet another sign that needs to be coupled with other solid evidence before becoming fearful for the relationship.
He hides his online activity
I get it, your Facebook account is your Facebook account, and being in a relationship doesn’t mean you automatically stop being an individual (and are entitled to your privacy). However, if you catch him texting and his reaction is to jump back or to overreact, it may be a sign that he has something to hide.
Well, either that or you caught him ordering your upcoming birthday present in advance.
The point here is that context is essential. Surprising him once or twice doesn’t mean all that much in the grand scheme of things, we all have our secrets, but if his attachment to social media is a new trend rather than just an isolated incident, there is something competing for his (and your) attention.
He becomes intolerant and short tempered
Attempting to juggle two relationships will drain his energy to the point that he will snap far more quickly than usual. What was tolerable yesterday suddenly isn’t anymore, and you’re left feeling guilty for no apparent reason.
But there is a reason.
The reason is that from an emotional and physical standpoint, your boyfriend’s romantic life has become unsustainable. Something needs to give, what will it be?
He retreats sexually
While it is normal for intimacy to fade somewhat during a long-term relationship, if he seems to back off impulsively, it might be the result of having a new set of romantic goals.
Sex is an important tool in relationships because of its role in conflict resolution and refreshing emotional intimacy, so a tear in the sexual connection should be investigated.
His routine changes dramatically
Does he have a new, uncharacteristic tendency to work overtime? Perhaps he is, or perhaps he’s finding the time to indulge in a new romantic direction.
It’s easy to obsess over changes in routine, however, coupled with other behavioral traits it becomes rather obvious when he’s lying.
If his story keeps changing, or he resists your attempts to check up on him, it’s a sign the house of cards is ready to crumble.
His “personal space” increases
If your boyfriend is attempting to engage in an affair he will need as much elbow-room around him as possible to ensure he isn’t caught.
One way to achieve this is to use the excuse of personal space because it is relatable. We can’t deny someone time to themselves, and thus it is a convenient way of achieving a cheating sanctuary.
The difference between using time alone and time alone as an excuse is that taking time off should re-energize and re-invigorate. If your boyfriend seems more tired after time apart than he was before, chances are he wasn’t actually alone.